Breaking Men’s Emotional Silence: A Men’s Journey to Physical Health

So you found yourself on this site, perhaps by accident or maybe deliberately, looking in hopes of finding the kind of material we are told to stifle. Psychological help for men, which is a topic mixed with stigma and arrays it in every direction you look for relief from the suffocating network of language clouds that keep distance between people. But here we are, always patiently yanking at the prowler whilst attemping to not allow our hands and feet go astray at the same time.

Imagine this: A man standing at the counter and staring blankly into the menu all text upon it an incomprehensible foreign language. Options appear everywhere, puzzling, or worse–familiar but still completely alien. This is how many men feel when they consider getting psychological help. “Psychologist? Therapist? Counselor? What does a person who is one of these people even do?” The need is there–oh, certainly. And yet when men stare at that dreaded menu….

Let’s face it. Many men see vulnerability as a shirt made from multiple layers of tags all scratching around inside at once. Anger however, has somehow retained a kind of machismo. In other words, crying is not the manly thing to do. But rage? That’s just fine, right? These sorts of double standards help shape our perceptions and harden attitudes against seeking help.

Remember when Uncle Joe went on about his school days? He was always talking about walking ten miles uphill through the snow, had to fight a bear or two there. Maybe in those stories Uncle Joe had some stress. But would he talk about it? Probably not. This is the way that many men’s struggles parallel those wild tales from history: unseen yet significant.

Here’s the incredible thing: when these deeply socialized beliefs are turned upon themselves-when people say “No, it’s not okay to deny how I feel,” it pours out like water breaking through a dam. At that moment everything gets a bit easier-or at least much more free-flowing. Power isn’t only about silently taking abuse. Sometimes it involves finding empaths to shed your anguish on, getting rid of all but these delicate of habits or somewhere in between.

We-should-stepdown-a level. Speaking in ordinary language: Dave, a layman with a love for motorbikes, who found himself unable to get out of first gear mentally. High speeds on the bike were no problem. In the face of losing his job, it was another matter altogether. Slowly Dave realized that talking to someone did not affect his masculinity; it actually increased strength of heart. It was like putting on the right-sized helmet at last.

Equilibrium is the key every time. Just like when we finally find that sweet spot on a surfboard. It takes courage to deal with fears and soothe uncertainties by reaching out (yet not doing so). Far more so than old ways of clenching your teeth and being brave. One has to recognize the burden and learn how to bear or share it. Step by tiny step, discussion by respectable conversation, the menu starts to make sense. With one less badly wrapped present for us all to trip over.